an apostrophe to a best friend, or a relic of one

because I don’t have someone like you always,

because I don’t want to need it always,

because you won’t tell me what I already know,

because you run from silence and tears and secrets.

because you wouldn’t tell me if something was stuck

between my teeth, or if my mascara was running.

because I can’t tell you straight out,

because you wouldn’t come to me if something wonderful

or something horrible happened to you, and

because I know that I would go to you.

because you never know what to say,

and don’t even pretend that you do.

because I think you wanted me to talk to you,

but you never told me you did, and I never could, anyway.

because I feel the space where you should be

beside me, but instead of calling you, instead

of you calling me, I write a poem to you,

and I know I’ll never show it to you and especially

you’ll never know it’s to you.

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